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Chihiro's page10月9日 Clair de Lune by DebussyI've been dealing with a music piece, "Clair de Lune" for a month.
I'm hooked on piano since I quit dancing.
I don' mean I was tired of dance, but anyways it takes a while to start dancing again.
The music just fits my feeling precisely, and it comforts me when playing.
I don' mean I knew this song recently, but I didn't intend to play it until now, interesting.
What I've noticed was that I had a kind of negative impression for cacophony..
This feeling derives from my childfood, and I didn't like to listen to minor key music
and something that sounded like clashes.. it might have been scary for a little girl.
I remember my mom let me listen to "Clair de Lune" as a repaertoire of "Good-nigt music".
I couldn't imagine anything from the music, the scenery of moon-light can't be conceived.
Now, I might be able to play it for my mom, 15 years later than my first piano lesson.
10月5日 Pre-recruitment PartyReal内定式
I really appreciate all those who supperted me.
I owed the success of the celebration party to Megumi, other staff members.
It was the moment I felt great considerration of my friends around me, and also the moment
I faced my small capacity.
As we'd known the real celebration wasn't provided for our recruitment, our plan to have "the Real 内定式"
on 1st of Oct.
I missed the first meeting held on 2nd of Sep, even though I said I could join them through phone..
The long distance disturbed me to help other staff members.. All what I did was to look for the place for the
celemony, also announced the info by e-mail... Were they good enough? ?
Sep was one of the busiest month, and everything wasn't complete because of my tepid approach.
I annoyed my dance members by cancelling my part, I also troubled my previous team (Milly) friends because they had to tell me "I was a ball and chain for the team", which was one of the hardest thing to tell. As I found it somehow, the word made me to give up dancing, while I was still in the maze, and didn't know what I really wanna do.
The real pre-recruitment party was one I really wanted to succeed, and I tried to make up the gap in Sep.
On the day of the party, I found myself enjoying the party, at the same time busily working and looking at the wrist for a watch all the time. I asked myself, "What do you want?" "The word-Thank you"?
Now I know I wanted to make the party with my friends, and appreciation followed next, but at that time, I felt that I was working for others. That's why I was disconsolate when I knew people began to eat before I arrived at the 3rd follow up party in Roppongi.
Appreciation comes out naturally.
Everyone can plan, not all who really achieve it. That's why a person who lead others can be appreciated.
Even though his/her work isn't as well as other members' work, others will work caz they like him/her, caz
they wanna work for him/ her.
It doesn' matter how much who worked. That could be the real "team work"
One of my friends told me that..
When I got a message board and a bouquet from other staff members, I was really sorry to them, for
I thought my work did't match others, also this party couldn't have been made without teamwork.
On such a occation, a message by a friend of mine comforted me alot.
Thank you, my dear. 3月26日 Thank you Party~Oikon2007It hasn't hit me yet that it was our last time to see as students..
Actually I don't feel so much depression nor sadness even though some of my friends will leave here soon to far a way..
I experienced a lot.. sometimes I was really depressed by constraints or struggles with my friends of course. Sometimes I missed those who were around me.
Since I began to live by myself, I stayed up late with my friends, drinking until morning, studying sometimes, movies..
I didn' know how I should have kept distance with my friends, how I should have shared our time together..
Faced with difficulties for future, the balance b/w club activity and school life, friendship, relationship with my boyfriend..
Anyways, I'm not good at expressing myself to others, some might have misunderstood me, of course I might have done, too. I didn' go far with my friends even one time, which was so bad, but I still have a year until real graduation. That might be a blessing for me, who's clumsy and slow for everything. It means I still can do as possible as I can with my friends as a student.
Fortunately, some of my friends will live in Tokyo even for short time. I'll see and say hello to them, and have a lively talking even though we just met the other day, you know.
Congraturation for your start in your new life.
Hope your wonderful future.
7月11日 Happy BirthdayMy Birthday
Every year, every time, I feel something special my mind when this day comes.. It's something similar as New Year day, with hopes, wishes, good insenive held.. but Jul 10th is my special day, caz it's my own day, my birthday. Mails from my friends, small gifts, a birthday cake... trappings of my birthday. Everything is so great, and fascinating.
Since I came back from Canada, I myself felt I became somewhat matured, considerate... I felt my experience was such a special one.. it might be true that I never experienced the year in Canada, but it means I gave up a year which could be experienced in Japan, with my friends. Considering the span of a year, that's quite natural that there're gaps and differences among my friends and me, I mean they also had solid time in Japan instead I was in Canada. There's no such thing that I could restart with them as if I had been with them all the time.
In economic field, should I call it "Opportunity cost"? ? I just forget it.. Anyways, these days, in this way I was stuck with something invisible.. I mean what to do..
But..first of all, it doesn't mean I have no friends, that's totally wrong... I found a lot of friends all over the world, who couldn't have met if I was in Japan. Also, I have friends who cheerred me up when I was down..
I need the sense of heartfelt gratitude.. Thank you all who helped me. This year will be the one when I look for my charms, my faults.., what I can do, otherwise.. in short "I know myself".
Finally, thank you all who celebrated my birthday ! ! ! 6月30日 the comp of my absenceSometimes, I'm said I'm irresponsible for my words.
They don't mean I have a lot of false promises, nor am I telling a lie.
"I'm just expecting too high result with no guarantee of achieve it.", they mean I think..
Maybe true, even if I say no. Others know my more than I do.
People often seem to face "reverse culture shock" when they come back from long absence.
Actually, I didn't feel so many differences when I firstly came back..
I was of course so glad to see my friends, went back to my daily life here, apart from
my long stay in Canada.(I don't think 1 year is long enough though.)
These days, I a little recognized something different from before.
I just can't describe how it's like, well...
Perhaps I'm looking for my place where I can be myself.
Considering 1year time difference, it's too obvious to see different friendships,
something new, something already over.
When I was studying in Canada, the time never stopped in Japan, too. That'S it.
But somewhere in my mind, I might have been expecting I could join my friends
I used to belong like before. I somewhat made efforts to fix our 1-year gap,
which was far from my friends' expectations. That's true, I should have done more.
Was I a shallow character.. ? ? No, just too easy going...
I don't wanna bother their atmosphere by my self-satisfied idea.
I should know how to be accepted again if I want.
Let me feel down for a moment until I can find what to do..
I'll be fine in a few days. 5月27日 One month since I came back home..Time goes so fast.. and I just don't believe a month has already passed since I came back home, you know.. I haven't got the internet at home, that's why I can't talk with my friends on the internet, also... I couldn't upload new blog... Now, I'm using the internet just in the computer room, also most of time is for research for the seminor, or paper.. so I have no time for responsing my friends...>_<" " so sorry my friends !! ! As for my new life, actually I'm a little surprised caz I didn't expect my new life was so busy like now.. the class itself is not too hard, just 5 courses and one seminor..(if in Canada, it was terrible though.. now my life works out well, haha.) I said 5 courses work out well so far, however, actually 4 out of 5 courses are done in English, so I still have to tons of reference in English, also I have to join the class in English,too.. even though my prop is Japanese _ _ ; ! ! As for the seminor, it is every second and forth week, that is twice a month, and almost once a month, I have to make kinda presentaion in front of our prop and other members.. That lasts more than 6hours...sometimes.... from 3:30-9:30 !! every seminor day is long day for me at the same time it is so solid and fruitful, haha.
Can I ask you guys a fovor? Please remember me until I can connect the internet at home ! ! It'll be done by the end of next month ! !
Keep in touch ! 4月8日 Salsa ! !I just found some of my friends read my blog, I just wrote my feeling and daily stuff just after they came up to my mind though....I totally forgot that this was public home page... Yup...anyone can look at anything, huh.... ? ?
Today might have been my last day of Salsa class..., which I took since I came here... so almost 1 year ..
I just felt the length of my stay... it must have been much longer than I felt.. you know.
Next week, I'm gonna have a farewell at my place as my last memory in Winnipeg, you know..If everyone can drop by me, I don't know they can come into my house..
I remember I had no friend when I came here first.. I was just missing Toronto, where I lived for a moment.. Sometimes, I felt lonely even I was with someone..I know I tried to make friends here desperately....even I didn't get along from my heart.
Now, I have some favorite place here, favorite cafe, restaurants, and friends, aged 5 to 70. Some are from Canada, Mexico, France, China... Almost all over the world, oh, from Africa, too !! These days, my English is slipping because I rarely use English other than talking with my friends...whatever it's not big deal now. I just wanna say my stay was so solid, also I so appreciate my friends who I met here.
Thanks, so much.
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